Biblical Parenting – Part 3 - Unless the Lord Builds the House
Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the Lord builds the house (household or family), those who build it labor in vain.” One way God is building His kingdom is through families that love Jesus, and parents are called by God to participate in this magnificent work. Yes, there are biblical principles that we have discussed in weeks prior, but here is the key: nothing we do as parents is more important than humbly submitting to God, our Father. Self-trusting causes worry, fear, perfectionism, over-protection, anger, blame and disengagement. Trusting and faith-filled parents enter God’s rest and find peace through the power of the Gospel. Let us show up and trust our Father!
As stated in The Gospel-Centered Parent, there are four blessings God gives us when we have received Jesus as our Savior. These have implications for how we live and how we parent.
1. We are declared “not guilty,” and we receive the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus
(Romans 3:22). How should this affect our parenting? We know our worth comes from Jesus,
not from the self-imposed pressure to be the perfect parent. We can humbly go to God and
confess our failures, receive forgiveness, and thank God for the gift of His righteousness in us.
We can ‘parent’ out of our emotional tank being filled with the knowledge that we are fully
loved and declared “not guilty.”
2. We are adopted into God’s family as a child and an heir through God (Galatians 4:7). Our
Father loves us; cares for us; desires to hear our prayers; He teaches us through His Word and
His promises are ours as heirs. I am not an orphan. How should this affect our parenting? As
Christians, we can find joy in being grafted into God’s family and not consumed with
appearances nor postings of our own family. Since we are children of our heavenly Father, we
can take on the posture of daily dependence, trusting Him for each family need.
3. We become loving people because God first loved us (1 John 4:19). The Holy Spirit empowers
us and teaches us to love from the heart. What are the implications of this for gospel-centered
parenting? When our children continue to disobey, we can keep teaching them God’s truths and
humbly show them His love. Often, God needs to reteach us; what a blessing that He is long-
suffering with His adult children! Rather than nag, shame, or speak condescending language to
our children, let us use the weapons of our warfare: love, prayer, and Scripture.
4. We are given eternal life (1 John 5:13). Even though our life on earth includes suffering and
bodily death, we have the promise of a future inheritance with our Savior in heaven, for those of
us who have put our faith in Christ. What are the implications of this for gospel-centered
parenting? We can decide not to live for our children’s achievements nor worldly happiness.
Instead, we can focus on an eternal perspective of child-rearing. If we focus on Jesus, His
goodness, His love, His provision of grace, then ultimately, we will not be defeated by trials or
family disappointments as we know that they are the building blocks of our faith.
Parenting is God’s instrument for showing us how to surrender the self-life. May the Holy Spirit teach us how to walk by faith, appropriate our inheritance as a child of the King, love our children well from a humble heart (because He first loved us) and focus on an eternal mindset as we parent. Through it all, God is conforming us to the image of His Son- consistently, lovingly, and with no condemnation, even when we mess up. He is our model for gospel-centered parenting…by faith.