Household Habits Seen as Liturgies
I thought liturgies were only for church. Have you ever thought about your daily habits functioning as liturgies? Furthermore, have you ever thought about your child-rearing habits and household rhythms as liturgies?
What are household liturgies? They are daily habits that point our family to the rhythms of how we do things: waking, preparing for school, mealtime, discipline, screentime, devotions, carpools, conversation, chores, bathtimes, fun-times, prayer times, bedtime. If you were to ask your children to give you words that define the culture that is prevalent in your home, what would they say? (I realize this might be a stretch for littles.) Would the words imply impatience, hurriedness, anxiousness, argumentativeness, and anger, or would they speak words that reflect an atmosphere of calmness, relaxed organization, patience, loving, safe, peaceful, forgiveness and mistakes are okay.
This is an important subject to reflect upon because whether your household habits are intentional or not, you are forming habits and patterns that are INforming the cultural tone of your home. Have you and your spouse ever talked about integrating new habits of function and fellowship to set the tone of a Gospel-centered home? Perhaps you are intentional in this effort already.
If not, may I suggest a book that speaks about this very topic. It’s entitled “Habits of the Household” by Justin Earley. This is the book our RDS moms have studied this semester; we will finish it this week. Earley calls each home “little schools of love.” I like that! He also says this: “If we don‘t decide and implement our habits carefully, we will fall back on rhythms of the usual patterns of unceasing screen time, unending busyness, unrivaled consumerism, unrelenting loneliness, unmitigated addictions, and unparalleled distractions.”
We know that even well-established, biblically based household habits do not guarantee that our children will come to know Jesus as Savior and Lord and walk in His ways. However, I believe Jesus uses rhythms and good habits to lead our hearts from our mistakes into His grace and forgiveness. Where else do we need grace and forgiveness more than in our very own homes?
As an educator for many years, I know first-hand the impact of modeling what you want as your outcome. Do you see that your smiles beget little smiling faces back at you? As you give love, this love returns in the most remarkable ways and your heart is filled with joy. As you talk, pray, and soothe, you see that modeled as your child talks, prays, and soothes a baby doll.
As you look to Jesus and your children look to you, point to your Father in heaven and declare His unfailing love for both of you. Parents, I want to encourage you to go on a date and discuss your family trends and habits. Use Earley’s book. If you are time challenged, read only these parts: the introduction, the 2-page recap of each chapter, and the epilogue. That should take you less than an hour. Then, discuss a plan for a few changes if the Lord prompts you to start new rhythms.
If you feel a heavy burden on your shoulders as you rear your children, I understand. However, Jesus told us that if we are heavy-ladened that we should come to Him, and He will give us rest. He is our Burden Bearer. I can’t recall where I heard this, but I like it. “We should work as if it all depends on us, and pray as if it all depends on God.” All the beautiful household habits in the world will not guarantee a perfect outcome. Jesus works in our mistakes, our failures, and our missteps with our children. His grace is amazing. He is in the redemption business – for salvation and for each day!
