Our Thoughts Impact Our Lives - How Not to be Anxious by Jeannie Brostrand, with insights from her daughter, Jennifer

My daughter is in the process of moving back to the States from Burundi, Africa, for a 1-year home assignment. This has come about recently and requires securing a home, deciding schooling, acquiring vehicles, and so forth. Knowing home-base would be in Greenville, SC, she applied to a Christian school in January. After submitting the required documents, complying with the school for a parent interview via Zoom, she was told they would be given an answer in February. Then came the news they needed to wait until the children could do in-person assessments before receiving notification regarding admission. She was developing anxiety over these many decisions, particularly about the children’s schooling. Many questions and thoughts consumed her mind – should she apply to another Christian school, too late for the lottery on a classical school; no living arrangements were finalized, so their home location was undetermined. Should they select a public school and try to find a place to live in that district?

Can you relate? It wasn’t until she took this to the Lord and prayed that she felt the Lord say, “I love your children more than you do, and I will take care of them.” It was then that her attitude changed. She was reminded of God’s LOVE and CARE for her AND for their children. Praise God.

It seems that everywhere we turn we see something in print or a podcast having to do with anxiety. How have we become a culture and era that is so anxious? Some of us grew up with parents who had a strong faith but relied on self-righteousness, while others grew up in an unstable home where there was no foundation for security. Regardless of whether you are from one extreme or the other or somewhere in between, we all show up as parents with patterns that we saw modeled in our childhood. Therefore, we need God to show us our sin and ask Him to refine us as adults, so that we model an anxious-free, worry-free life.

What are you setting your mind on these days? Bob Goff says, “What constantly distracts us will eventually define us.” Ask yourself: Is anxiety driving you to micromanage and control, causing anger or worry over the dreadful ‘what if?’ Do your children hear you say “what if…” with worry in your tone? Or do they hear, “If this happens, God will be with us, and if this happens, God will be with us.” May your children hear you speak with a sense of security in the sovereignty of Christ, rather than a tone that reflects worry and fretfulness about the future.

Matthew 6:34 tells us that each day has enough trouble of its own; don’t worry about tomorrow. I love the story of God giving the Israelites just enough manna for one day. What a beautiful picture and foreshadowing of God’s provision of the Holy Spirit to come. Do you have some days where you don’t know how you will handle one more tantrum or how you will speak with your husband about a potentially argument-sparking conversation? Ask for daily bread; He will give it to you. Ask for His presence; He has promised to be with us in our valleys. Don’t feel His presence? He’s there. His empowering is moment by moment as we trust not in ourselves, but in our Savior. We know that our thoughts drive our actions, and those actions expose our beliefs. In whom and in what are we trusting?

God’s Word is as true today as It was during any other era. We need to decide if we believe that. I agree with you that technology has complicated our lives, and in a true sense, child-rearing. That reality must be navigated with the wisdom that comes from the Lord. James 1:5 tells us to ask for wisdom, and God will give it to us generously, but we must ask in faith, without any doubting.

Furthermore, did Jesus leave us alone to live this Christian life? No, we have the gift of the Holy Spirit, the third person of the trinity living inside us IF we have put our faith in Christ for eternal life. The question we must answer is this: Does our confidence to rear our children lie within our own ability, or are we walking by faith in dependence on Him? If He gave you children, He will equip you for the asking. So, walk in confidence because the Holy Spirit empowers you as you trust in the Lord rather than your own understanding.

Here’s the temptation: We believe and say that we trust God for our eternal destiny by declaring our faith in the finished work of Christ on the cross. Then, we tell God – “I’ve got this.” Maybe we don’t say that, but have you ever laid the sin of self-sufficiency at the cross, and the next day picked that thing right back up, white-knuckling through it in your own strength? I know I have. We are tempted to carry the weight of life on our shoulders instead of offering our burdens to the One whose name is Burden Bearer, (Psalm 68:19). We are tempted to trust in ourselves more than the indwelling life of Christ.

Books and articles are written on being worry-free. I particularly like Sissy Goff’s book, The Worry-Free Parent. I think much wisdom lies within those 241 pages. Haidt’s book on The Anxious Generation has insightful research within its pages, and he offers parents some excellent technology-related solutions which align with biblical values, despite the fact he is an agnostic. Here’s another idea on being worry-free, and it’s straight from Philippians 4:4-7.

Imagine that. God’s remedy for worry: Verse 4 – Rejoice in the Lord always. How can you say that? I didn’t; God did through Paul. Even when we’re suffering? Yes. It’s difficult to explain, but when we turn our eyes to Jesus and praise Him even in the storm, our hearts are mysteriously transformed. Ask Him to turn your mourning into rejoicing. He WILL do it. Verse 6 – Be anxious for nothing. Talk to God about your need, your anxious worry; be honest. (He already knows). Do this WITH thanksgiving. Thank Him for your blessings. Verse 7 – He assures us of the outcome: the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

How can God’s Word possibly tell us to be anxious for nothing, especially in this day and time? If we trust Him for our eternal life, shouldn’t we trust Him for our daily walk of faith? I know; I’m like you. We would NEVER add our good works to the gospel message, but we tend to add our self-sufficiency to our walk of faith. God doesn’t need our help! Being a good receiver of God’s provision takes all the pride out of life! We get no credit, but we also bear no burden! Isn’t this a glorious truth?! Glory to God alone!

Here’s our application:

1. Pray-talk to God about whatever is troubling you (brain dump / journaling).

2. Acknowledge-list the many blessings you have from God (pivot / mind reset-thankfulness).

3. Receive the peace He gives you. This peace defies logic; it’s supernatural.

Before closing, I want to say that if you are struggling with a mountain of guilt, self- condemnation, depression, or a history of trauma which is causing you the inability to take God at His Word and apply it to your life with some level of victory, then seek someone of deep faith and wisdom who can help you process that. My hope and desire is to see you walk in victory and freedom for the sake of your family, your children, and your children’s children.