Do You Feel Anxious Over Worrying About Your Children?

In the quietness of your heart, I hope you answered that question honestly. If you answered no, stop reading. However, if your answered yes, read on. Have you ever thought about what is at the root of this worry? Do you lack faith in God that He will supply you with wisdom for the asking? Are you focusing on the future when God provides us grace for now? Do you fear how your children will turn out; what type of adults they’ll become? Let’s look at some of these.

I have noticed during my time in education (30+ years) that parents have become increasing anxious. When I left my fulltime work at a Christian school seven years ago, I never heard the words ‘anxious and children’ in the same sentence and now, many books are written on the subject. What’s driving this parental or childhood angst? Are tendencies toward perfectionism, undue pressure over comparison, or social media causing this angst? We look at our children and think… what if he can’t tie his shoe by three, keep his room tidy by six, remember to take out the trash as a preteen, get good grades, be admitted into top tier colleges, how will he or she be able to hold down a job as a responsible adult? Do you see how far-reaching our worrying can travel? Instead of allowing children to learn from struggles and hardships, we shield them and snowplow the road due to our angst. Prioritizing spiritual formation and character development no matter how many setbacks the road provides is wise. Take God at His Word: James 1:5 says, “God gives us wisdom for the asking.” I can’t think of anything that is needed more in the rearing of children than God’s wisdom.

We tend to operate in ‘what ifs’ instead of trusting that our walk of faith in the Lord will impact our children. I can say for certain that my mom never once grew anxious about raising us five children, nor did she see her worth wrapped up in our accolades or lack thereof. She showered us with equal amounts of love and discipline and allowed the good Lord and her own common sense to dictate the day. We were not the sole focus of her life; our family did not revolve around the children’s activities. We witnessed the work ethic of her and my dad (a farmer), and saw their involvement in our church, their community, local politics, PTA, and friends in need. We knew we were loved, but we were not front and center. We were simply one spoke in the wheel of their marriage and service-oriented lives; certainly, an important one, but not an all-consuming one.

It has been said that many people trust in worry more than trusting God, and yet the Word tells us to be anxious for nothing. It’s no wonder that we feel apprehensive when we measure our troubles against our ability to handle. But when we submit and surrender to the One who works all things together for good, we know that we can trust our loving heavenly Father and His provision for each day. I find great solace in setting my mind on Scripture. For example, Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” This is a good one to write on a sticky note, to meditate on, and to memorize. Another verse I love is Isaiah 26:3, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”

The thing about God’s beautiful design for our minds is this: we can only think of one verse, one thought, one angst, one joy filled moment, one heartache, one obstacle or one challenge at a time. That gives me all the encouragement I need to take my thoughts captive and set my mind on God’s Word. After all, our mind is the battleground so let’s set our minds on Truth, not anxious thoughts.

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Disciplining Children Still Tops the Charts