Family Rhythms and Routines – Dads, This One’s for You!
One of the things I do in the summer to prepare for the book club selection is read books that align with Gospel-centered parenting. One such book I read this summer was entitled “Habits of the Household” by Justin Earley. Andy Crouch, the author of our book-study-book, “The Tech-Wise Family,” gave it a strong, positive review. There is a wonderful chapter included in “H. of the H.” on screen time. Since our focus this semester is on being a tech-wise family, I will discuss several of Earley’s vetted ideas in our book study. For now, here are two ideas he passes along for your consideration: screenless car rides and screenless sabbaths. You probably know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children two and under should not be allowed screen time, whether that is on a phone, tablet, or a tv screen.
For Dads who like male authorship, this book might appeal to you, especially if growing up you watched a lot of tv and played even more video games. Earley writes that his dad offered to pay him $500.00 if he would not watch tv or play games for a year. If I have piqued your interest, learn about the outcome on page 110. He states that the challenge opened opportunities for him to replace his screen obsession with more wonderful things. Dads, if you choose to read this book, you will find practical tools for parenting as you lead your family through healthy spiritual habits and routines. Rather than a checklist of dos and don’ts, it is a grace-filled approach to household habits that root family life in the Gospel of Jesus.
One sentence in this habits book grabbed my attention: “Our best parenting comes when we think less about being parents of children and more about being children of God.” Reread that and let it sink in! In other words, in your relationship with the Lord, take the posture of a child and out of that relationship will flow the wisdom to parent your children. Have the mindset of being needy, dependent, and trusting of your heavenly Father. What is the Lord teaching you as an adopted son? Are you feasting on Truth by reading and meditating on the Word? Do you desire to be an obedient disciple of Christ so that you can model discipleship to your children? What habits and spiritual disciplines are you building into your life as the leader of your family? Is your device a distraction from engaging with your family? Perhaps it’s time to recalibrate and pray about your household rhythms as you lead your family.
In Matthew 11: 28-30 Jesus says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Wow – every parent needs to be mindful of this passage. Come to Jesus. Receive rest. Learn His ways. He wants to be your burden bearer. God never intended for us to bear the loads of life alone! Rest in being a child of God just as the quote stated. Resting is trusting. If you are considering refreshing your outlook on household habits and Christ-centered family formation, pray and ask for wisdom. Start with reading this book. Come unto Jesus. Take it one day, one page at a time. Your heavenly Father is gentle. There are 223 pages.
I want to close by sharing one last thought about a parenting routine that I struggled with. It had to do with building margin. I value efficiency so if it only took 40 minutes to get the children up, dressed, fed, and out of the house, I allowed 40 minutes. This idol of efficiency (yes, it was an idol for me) caused many anxious mornings. Out of desperation and confession, I finally allowed for minutes of margin. While my expectations were the same, I remained calm and patient because I had allowed leeway to pause and reteach, if necessary, and amazingly, my children sensed the difference. I was confident and assured and free of my idol. In examining household habits and routines, perhaps the Lord wants to teach you something as He did me. After all, God does His finest work of sanctification through parenting. A-men?!
