How Can I Teach My Children to be Grateful?
I recently received an email from one of our dear parents who asked this very question. Before speaking to the question, I first gave a high-five for centering her heart on this all-important issue. Four years ago at RDS we studied “Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World - How One Family Learned That Saying No Can Lead to Life’s Biggest Yes” by Kristen Welch. I highly recommend it. In this M.M., I’ll give you a few bottom line take-aways. Thank you, Kristen!
There is medical and scientific proof that an attitude of gratitude makes us healthier.
Parents who want to rear more grateful kids need to start living grateful lives and the best way is by modeling in word and deed, showing gratitude for the small things that are not materialistic in nature. For example, show gratitude for a helpful neighbor, a kind word from a clerk, a beautiful sunny day, breath in our lungs, a loving gesture from a friend, and so on.
Dinner table discussion: name one thing for which you are grateful today – nonmaterial.
Social media is the perfect storm for perpetuating discontentment. Disengage?
Teach your children to write thank-you notes, color or draw pictures. When a friend of mine brought our grandchildren small gifts at Christmas, I made sure they drew sweet pictures as thank you notes. I sent them all off in a folder that she dearly loved receiving.
Teach that every good and perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17).
As your children grow, teach them to be others-centered by serving those in need – baking cookies for a shut-in neighbor or the local firefighters, and when older, think about a family mission trip. Perhaps write this on a weekly or monthly calendar and be intentional about it.
Teach the value of money and the difference between need and want; as they grow older talk about the family budget and include giving, saving, and spending.
Teach delayed gratification. Even if you can afford it, it doesn't mean it is the best idea.
Eat rice and beans one night a week to remind us of how others live meagerly.
Teach your children that in our world there will always be someone who has more (material goods) and those who have less. We are not to compare, but we are to be grateful for what we do have and thank God for our blessings.
Raising kids to be grateful and content is going against the tide of culture and certainly our Atlanta-culture. Character-building, spiritual forming, and saying “no” when you could say “yes” is hard work, no doubt. Surround yourself with like-minded parents who want the same for their children and share tips with each other.
Every so often instead of buying ice cream, how about using that money, drop it in a cup, and when it has reached a certain amount, use it to bless someone who has much less. This is a great way to practice self-denial.
Talk to your children. Say something like, “Sweetie, I would like to take you to ____________ or buy you ____________, but Daddy and I have decided that our budget is going to be used for x, y, z. Get ready for tempers to flare. Hold your ground.
Show your children other ways that you love them instead of so many gifts for birthdays and Christmas. Practice purging toys. Take toys to a resale shop for another child to enjoy.
Be like-minded with your spouse, and then take small steps toward new ideas. Model an attitude of gratitude (Eph. 5:20, Col. 2:7), teach hard work, and the value of a dollar.
