Mindset Principle #2 – Consistency is Key as You Correct Your Child

Two weeks ago, I posted about your God-given authority as the parent of your child. This week let’s focus on consistency in your discipline / discipling.  Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines discipline as “education; instruction; cultivation and improvement, comprehending instruction in arts, sciences, correct sentiments, morals and manners, and the teaching of subordination to authority.”  As you disciple, “you teach, train, inform the mind, instruct in principles and habits, and  accustom one to order. I love Webster’s 1828 definitions! Children should be taught that you are God’s ambassador for training them in the principles of character development and biblical standards for right and wrong as you love them through life.

A mindset of consistency in correcting, instructing, and disciplining is key. Deuteronomy 6:7 talks about training and instruction, “whether you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” Make sure to inspect what you expect when giving a directive. I believe that if you don’t have the energy or time to inspect, it is better to not give the directive. Why?  Because you are training your child to believe that it doesn’t matter what you say, your child has a choice. You are training that obedience is an option, and I know that is not your intent.

I would say our #1 challenge to following-through on training and instructing is busyness. When rushing, we miss opportunities for training, shepherding, and planting seeds in little ones’ hearts. Whenever you are with your children, you are teaching your child about the many aspects of life: himself, safety factors, healthy food choices, the Golden Rule, God’s design for how your family functions, the beauty of God’s creation, just to name a few. This is all-encompassing. Is your discipling more proactive (instructive) or more reactive (correction)?  

Here is an example of both. If you are taking your child with you to the grocery store, discuss behavior expectations before leaving your home rather than heading out the door in haste and correcting behavior as you walk down every aisle. If you are proactive, you still might need to give reminders, but you have set the stage for your child’s acceptable behavior.  Making this outing into a learning experience, you might allow your preschooler to help pick out the necessary produce items – again, talking and teaching as you help your child select appropriate items for the family. Children love to be helpful with purposeful tasks, whether it is selecting an item at the grocery store or accomplishing a weekly or daily chore. This builds confidence in a child.

This takes time! Talking with your child as you order your tasks and run errands is more about positive instruction and is an expression of love and caring. There is another huge benefit to this - increasing your child’s vocabulary.  Some parents are naturally more verbal than others. If you are one who is not, may I encourage you to work at this. Talk to your child about many things as you navigate your day and use adult language, clear enunciation, and proper intonation. This is one reason that reading excellent literature is so important to your child’s language development – it increases your child’s vocabulary and teaches better flow of sentence structure. A parent must be on point in the day-to-day tasks to do this, keeping the mobile device at bay.

As God’s agent or ambassador in the rearing of your children, let’s see discipline as positive instruction on the one hand and consequences for disobedience on the other. Discipline is to produce growth in every area of a child’s life. The Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father (mother) corrects the son in whom he delights (Proverbs 3:12). Disciplining / discipling = loving.