Mindset Principle #3-Take the Long-view with Child Rearing

Are you organized with running your household? Do you have systems in place that allow for

mental breaks from the demands of motherhood? Let’s look at some ideas that might help. In

prioritizing your time and activities, take the long-view approach as you rear your children.

You’re parenting a child who will one day leave home, becoming an adult. And more importantly,

you’re rearing a child with an eternal soul.

A little background: I was blessed with a mother who ran a tight ship. My dad was a dairy

farmer, but also trapped muskrats, mink, and beavers. He ran a seed corn business, and tilled

acres of beans and corn. He provided for the family; my mom was a homemaker. She was

nurturing and ‘got after us’ when necessary. She really didn’t care if we approved of her

parenting skills or whether we liked her when she disciplined us; she was all about doing what

was best for our upbringing. I was one of five children; we were always on time, usually ten

minutes early. Watching her, I learned the skill of time management and how to organize, plan,

and execute. It sounds like she was a drill sergeant. She wasn’t, but she ran our home with

finesse. She had a great sense of humor, loved to play cards, and was as funny as Lucille Ball.

In fact, my mom was mistaken for her one time at a World Series baseball game. The looks and

voice were similar! No joke.

She lived her motherhood life with the end in mind, sacrificing much of herself for the sake of

her husband and children. She wasn’t perfect as no parent is. If you struggle with managing

your time and prioritizing your week, please read on. Know this: When you are rearing your

young family, you must say “no” to many other things. God has given you various gifts and

talents, a certain energy level; a husband who travels or not, and perhaps you also work away

from home. Unfortunately, you look to the right and to the left and see a friend who can do more

(so you think); you compare and feel inadequate. Dear one, please stop that! That is not what

your heavenly Father wants for you.

For clarity, prioritizing your family does NOT mean having a child-centered home. Until a child is

two years old, much of your time revolves around this little one. Slowly, you release that toddler

to real life where he/she is a part of the family, not center stage. Rosemond’s book “Making the

Terrible Twos Terrific” is the best read on this concept. Now, let’s dive in with some practical

ideas; some may work; some may not.

Saturday – make your meal plan for the week and grocery shop while hubby takes the kiddos to

the park, perhaps. After bedtime, sit down with your hubs and plan for the week’s extra

activities. I know it took a lot of planning for you both to have attended the Meet the Teacher

Night. Kudos to you! Once you plan your entire week with that kind of intentionality, it will help

you. There will be interruptions and children get sick. That’s a given, but you will have your

basic template in place. The “no, we can’t do that” will be easier because you have your

priorities in place for the week. I have a formula. More “no’s”= less stress. Calendar date nights,

too. You don’t necessarily need to go anywhere for a date night, and these should be a blessing

not a chore, so schedule their frequency with what works for your family’s schedule.

Sunday – worship and Sabbath day of rest. One must schedule the entire week around being

able to do this; planning a restful day is a goal worth pursuing. Rest or take naps and require

your children to do likewise. This will take training. After naptime, we usually took long walks or

visited a park.

Monday – Friday – When children are in school and baby is napping, begin your meal prep. I

commend you for trying to eat healthy and clean! I use the Bobby Approved app for this. If you

cook from scratch, it will be time consuming for sure, but the health of your young family will

benefit. Give yourself grace to use short-cuts. Cut up carrots, celery, broccoli, and other veggies

to have available for quick snacks or when hunger strikes at 5:00 pm. Raw is more nutritious

than cooked so it’s a clever way to get them to eat their veggies. It won’t spoil their dinner

because you want them to prioritize this food group. Protein for dinner, fresh fruit for dessert,

and you’re set! Rethink snack time – only offer healthy choices! Are you giving your child

protein for breakfast? Scrambled eggs, left-over pizza, or cheese toast are good choices. This

helps your child be poised to learn!

Know your time limits and energy margin for weekly activities and arrange your family’s

schedule accordingly. Know yourself, your husband, and your child(ren). Make decisions based

on YOUR family. Factor in a nap for yourself when the baby is napping. You’ll be poised for the

remaining demands of your day. No guilt allowed, sweet momma! Your “workdays” are 14 hours

in length with occasional nighttime interruptions. Guard your sleep and prioritize it. You must

resist the temptation to scroll on your phone.

During the preschool ages and beyond, we always did Wednesday night and Sunday church.

We did very few other activities when the children were elementary school age. Our son did one

sport; our daughter did one activity. We set that boundary and stuck with it. Church and

homework rounded out our week. I realize there is pressure to enroll in many extras – lessons

and so forth. Please resist the urge to over-schedule your child. Your child needs to come home,

play outside, or take a nature walk with you. You should be the primary influence on your young

child, not someone else (besides the teacher and grandparents). Unstructured playtime is SO

healthy for a child’s development. If you take the long-view approach in rearing your child, you

will realize there is plenty of time for organized activities and lessons. An excellent read is

Elkind’s book, “The Hurried Child.” Our culture pushes parents to be competitive, and our

tendency is to steal children’s childhood.

Birth-age 5 years is all about teaching, training, requiring obedience. Are you inspecting what

you have directed your child to do? You will need to sacrifice what you want to get done to do

this. This is NOT being a child-centered home. It is keeping your word. What is more important

– inspecting obedience when assigning a task or having a perfectly tidy home? Ask yourself in

that moment – if I take the long-view approach, which task is more important for my child’s

character. If you’ve been lax, start over with a new perspective, new expectation for obedience,

and pray for yourself.

So, mindset #3 is taking the long-view approach to parenting. Is how I correct, instruct, and

disciple in this moment building character in my child and helping him or her see the need for

Jesus? Sacrificing is a necessary part of parenting. Healthy meals, physical activity, adequate

sleep, an unhurried lifestyle, joyful humor, and spiritual devotion are just a few areas of possible

priority. Be wise in your selection of extra activities AFTER you build in healthy margin for your

week. That way, you are not stressed every time you head out the door, and the joy that comes

from this accomplishment will do your heart good. “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who

labor to build it, labor in vain. (Psalm 127:1). Seek the Lord, pray, and be willing to set yourself

apart from the clamor of the culture. Dear one, your family will benefit and a heart that

overflows with contentment and joy will be your reward.