We Model our Faith by our Words and our Deeds
How are you daily modeling your faith in front of your children? In our book study this semester we are talking a lot about parenting scripts. Are you saying the same things over and over without getting the results you are desiring from your children? If so, you are not alone.
So, find your post-it notes and let’s look at some new scripts that perhaps you could apply to your worn-out phrases. Are you exasperated with your current results? Read on and may you be encouraged.
May I recommend that you spend time in prayer asking the Lord to show you how your angst and
frustration in the moment is affecting your parenting. Repent of any anger toward your children and ask the Lord to show you how to replace your worn-out scripts with Scripture-based truth. Pick a day where you watch yourself – your behavior and your words, closely. Jot down your observations. What unsuccessful habits are you prone to repeat? Change is not easy, and the first step is realizing we need to change our words and behaviors toward our children. I cannot give you an exact formula. The formula for biblical parenting is summed up in one word: Jesus. He will answer your heartfelt prayers.
Nonetheless, here are some principles that are worth entertaining.
Acknowledge that you need Jesus not only as your Savior but as your teacher to grant you wisdom in all circumstances (James 1:5).
Lay your parenting pride on the altar; surrender your heart’s desire of wanting the things of this world. There is freedom in admitting what God already knows.
Pray and ask for insight and awareness of any hypocrisy (James 1:22-25).
Model in word and deed to your child. “I am grateful for how God has provided______ for our family.” “Honey, your life goes well when you obey mommy.” “I love you too much for you to speak like that, behave like that.” “Let’s practice kindness instead by_____________.” “Honey, let’s work on receiving a ‘No’ from mommy.” “It’s not because I don’t love you. It’s because I do love you.” Every day includes taking our “N” vitamin.
I want you to have a “do-over.” Practice teaching your child how to receive a “no.”
Ask God in the turmoil of the moment to guard your tongue. Step back, give yourself some space, detach emotionally. And then step into the situation with a new script. Write down your new script on a sticky note that you post in the kitchen. Watch for those moments that trigger you into saying those phrases that are not edifying, biblical, and that are not working.
Model the blessings of the day by reminding your children of all the “Yeses” God provided for you, and then, ask your child how you provided many blessings throughout the day. This is a good recall exercise to recap the day.” Gratitude is a muscle that needs exercising (even for us adults).
Be mindful of sorting out the world’s way of child-rearing vs. a biblical model for child rearing. The world’s way is child centric. The biblical way is a Jesus-centered family; one in which the marriage comes before the children. Nurturing your child is NOT the same as being child centric.
Observe who is parenting well and ask for play dates or take this mama to coffee. Seek out someone who is further along in her parenting journey; someone who is doing this well.
Ask the Lord to give you the fortitude to deny yourself (Mark 8:34).
Consider fasting from social media. Replace the time in the Word, meditating on Scripture.
If you would like to reach out to Jeannie, you may email her at jbrostrand@redeemerdayschool.org