Notes from Boyd Bailey’s Talk for RDS Dads on March 1, 2023 PART 2

Notes from Boyd Bailey’s Talk for RDS Dads on March 1, 2023 PART 2
(With permission from Boyd to use notes from his talk)

Part 1 focused on your marital relationship; this M.M. will focus on child rearing. Boyd was asked, “What does it look like to be the spiritual leader in the home?” He responded: model what you expect. If you expect kindness, be kind. If you expect honesty, be truthful. Be honest about what you don’t know and then confidently apply what you do know.

Boyd encouraged Dads to exhibit empathy toward their children. Offer comfort. For example, say
something like “I’m sorry you had a hard day. Let’s take a walk and talk.” Good things happen when you go outside. Or toss a ball around and talk. Anything to connect. Show support; be tender and caring.

If a child is lying, ask: “What do you think happens if people tell lies?” “Right, they lose friends; their word can’t be trusted.” Along these lines, Matt Nolan asked the question, “What were the three top priorities of discipline in your home?” Boyd responded, “dishonesty, disrespect, and disobedience” were non-negotiables for disciplining his children. There were clear boundaries around acceptable conduct because clarity grows influence.

When asked about a good model for prayer time or Bible time in the family, Boyd responded, “Be
energetic, make it fun and interesting; let them color; act it out.” Use the Jesus Storybook Bible or
another child-friendly Bible, Slugs and Bugs, music in the car. Institute routines to start and end the day.

“Some men sitting in this room might not have a godly example of a dad and feel at a loss at knowing how to be a godly father. How would you encourage men who do not have a godly example,” asked Matt. Boyd shared a beautiful testimony from his own life which blessed the room. He encouraged the men to recruit mentors. Then, he spoke about the Father heart of God. His admonishment was to work on seeing God as your heavenly Father, knowing His unconditional love for you presently. He loves you. You are beloved and blessed by Him. He is your biggest fan and best friend. He is your model for living and source of wisdom. Again, he reiterated living in the present by trusting God to show you the way.

Another source of encouragement was to make sure you are connected to other men on the journey of fatherhood. When you are connected to God, your spouse, your children, and other men, you can see more clearly. Just as a Tesla gets recharged at the charging station, you, too, can get recharged as you stay purposely connected in these relationships. Boyd shared that when he is not connected to his lovely wife, he is operating at best - only 50%.

Let your child see you being with and connecting to God. How delightful for a child to see his/her daddy having a quiet moment with God – either praying or reading the Word. He also mentioned a silent retreat and how meaningful this has become to him. He said, “Silence is the language of God; we need to become fluent in silence.” Other ways to connect with your child – show up! Here are a few more.

•  Weekly dates with individual children

•  Coach sports – Boyd shared a story as a coach of his daughter’s softball team. He was     clueless as to the rules, but he showed up.

• Take your child on work trips, if possible

Reserve time for those who will sit in the reserved section at your funeral. “Learning To Lead Like
Jesus,” written by Boyd Bailey, was given to each dad there. I would encourage you to read it!
 

If you would like to reach out to Jeannie, you may email her at jbrostrand@redeemerdayschool.org.